People Search by Maiden NameI have two weddings this weekend. One is in Boston on Friday night and the other is back in DC on Saturday afternoon. Thanks to the magic of aviation, I will be at both.
What I find interesting about these weddings is the brides' options on changing their last names. My friend getting married in Boston has an absolutely beautiful name. Her middle name is her mother's maiden name and the way it all flows together is very regal sounding. She told me she's not changing hers - at least not right away. Her husband to-be has a very generic last name and she feels like she's losing something that makes her unique should she forego her current surname. She says she may reconsider if or when they have children.
The other bride is marrying my best friend. To say he has a "special" last name is an understatement. Let's just say his professional emails often get stuck in spam filters because many companies deem it to be "inappropriate content." Because he is stubborn, and self righteous, and well, him...he says he would never marry a woman who didn't take his last name because if she didn't, she must not really love him. His bride sure is one lucky lady.
If I was to marry tomorrow (I assure you, NOT the case), my first inclination is to say that I wouldn't change my last name. It really has very little to do with women's liberation or anything like that, and more more to do with practicality.
- I enjoy paperwork (electronic or otherwise) about as much as I do the grocery store. If you don't know me, I haven't been food shopping in weeks. The amount of forms to be filled out and effort that goes into having it changed just seems like an epic hassle.
- All my degrees and awards feature my current last name. For some reason it bothers me that they would seem out of date.
- Everything I've had published over my career is listed under my last name. In these days of Search Engine Optimization (SEO), it would be a lot harder for someone to log into Google and pull up all my past work.
- Much of my job is making personal contacts with people and building lasting relationships. I feel like I would be making things more complicated for myself professionally it I were to change my name.
Many women feel that not changing their name would make things difficult when they have children. My friend's mother held a very prominent position in a company where her husband was also employed. For professional reasons, she never changed her name. My friend said out of assumption people would often call her mother by her father's last name and it never bothered her. She would respond to being called either name.
A new poll reports that 70% of Americans think that it is beneficial for women to take her husband's last name when they marry.